Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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