Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize