Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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