Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize