there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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