Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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