Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize