why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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