So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize