what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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