glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We have started to decorate penises.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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