That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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