About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We have started to decorate penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize