She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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