R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
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Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
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My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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