Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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