you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
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