he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just puked most of my soul out..
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