He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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