Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
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someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
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you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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