I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
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I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
3pm strippers are depressing
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I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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