i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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