I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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