Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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