my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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