You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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