I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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