fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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