Duck Duck Cougar?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize