i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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