Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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