all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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