this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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