Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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