If i come over, it means nothing
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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