I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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