my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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