I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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