So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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