i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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