Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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