guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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