if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize