I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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