...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize