you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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