just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
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She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
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She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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