smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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