i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
im on a boat
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