chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
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I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
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I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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